tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6763363515630192592011-11-27T16:50:50.269-08:00Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.comBlogger521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-71159012958836785832007-03-26T01:22:00.000-07:002007-03-26T01:24:20.500-07:00Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days.<br />Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He<br />inquired of God, "Where have you been?"<br /><br />God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through<br />the clouds, "Look, Michael.<br />Look what I've made."<br /><br />Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"<br /><br />"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it<br />Earth and it's going to be a ! great place of balance."<br /><br />"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.<br /><br />God explained, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, but<br />cold and harsh while pointing to different parts of earth. "For example,<br />Northern southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant."<br /><br />"I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts."<br /><br />"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and<br />covered in ice."<br /><br />The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a group of Islands<br />and said, "What are those?"<br /><br />"Ah," said God. "That's the Philippines , the most glorious place on earth.<br />There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and forests. The people from<br />the Philippines are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous<br />and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely<br />sociable, hardworking and high achieving and they will be known throughout<br />the world as carriers of peace and love."<br /><br />Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about<br />balance, God? You said there would be balance." God replied wisely,<br /><br />"Wait until you see the idiots that are elected as their leaders."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-7115901295883678583?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-61290163959483808112007-03-22T17:38:00.000-07:002007-03-22T17:42:51.472-07:00Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo!<br />Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa!<br />Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6129016395948380811?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-37022390336983376042007-03-21T01:54:00.002-07:002007-03-21T01:56:13.081-07:00Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula<br />ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging<br />anak, naintindihan mo?<br />Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3702239033698337604?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-6115198770809079362007-03-21T01:54:00.001-07:002007-03-21T01:54:46.516-07:00Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? Wala na kasing medium!<br />Napansin mo,fit masyado, di ba?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-611519877080907936?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-14407196249505793382007-03-21T01:52:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:53:38.222-07:00Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're?<br />Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.<br />Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo?<br />Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1440719624950579338?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-72763352939845826902007-03-21T01:50:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:52:23.791-07:00A lizard fell on a table.<br />Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae;<br />Kikay: Eew, lizard!;<br />Astig: Shit, butiki!;<br />Mataray: Shucks, butiks!;<br />Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste!;<br />Mahirap: Pare, ulam!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-7276335293984582690?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-15917821063714734782007-03-21T01:46:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:47:38.261-07:00Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir.<br />Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa!<br />Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1591782106371473478?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-85505818336161248972007-03-21T01:44:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:49:59.799-07:00Natty Natividad: Salbahe ka, niloloko mo ako!<br />Christian Benjamin: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!<br />Natty Natividad: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae,<br />magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako!<br />Christian Benjamin: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama<br />ko kanina ang niloloko ko!<br /><br /><br />( bad christian, so bad ... tsk tsk tsk tsk )<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8550581833616124897?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-75941650492743493862007-03-21T01:13:00.000-07:002007-03-21T01:44:40.173-07:00Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.<br />Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako<br />nabuntis?<br />Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-7594165049274349386?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-52814078292097819842007-03-21T00:57:00.000-07:002007-03-21T00:58:33.925-07:00TITSER : Class, use AMONG in a sentence...<br />STUDENT 1 : AMONG the trees, the coconut is the best!<br />TITSER : Very good! How are Kevin?<br />KEVIN : AMONG maid gikamang ni Papa!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-5281407829209781984?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-23547656457038988682007-03-21T00:56:00.001-07:002007-03-21T00:56:43.955-07:00BATA : Mommy, mommy! bakit may ahas sa katawan si Daddy?<br />MOMMY : Oo nga, ang tapang pa naman, parang manunuklaw.<br />BATA : eh, bakit si yaya di natatakot? kinain nya yun kanina!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2354765645703898868?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-86136053432471523432007-03-21T00:52:00.000-07:002007-03-21T00:55:58.299-07:00BATA : Tay! kinsa imo pinangga, ako o si Nanay?<br />TATAY : Syempre IKAW!<br />BATA : Bantog ra inig kaadlawon ako imong habulan, si Nanay imong HUBUAN!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8613605343247152343?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-30538421553165400222007-03-21T00:47:00.000-07:002007-03-21T00:52:35.871-07:00Asawa nasakpan gikuan sa silingan....gipusil sa bana ang lalake, PATAY!<br />ASAWA : Sus, banaha ka! kung dili ka mag-usab sa imong batasan, mahurot<br />atong silingan!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3053842155316540022?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-23004477327280349722007-03-21T00:03:00.000-07:002007-03-21T00:04:08.129-07:00Women's prayer at the age of ...<br />21 - Give me a best man..<br />25 - Give me a good man.<br />30 - Give me a man.<br />40 - Lord, asa naman?<br />50 - Wa pa man?<br />60 - Ngano man?<br />70 - HUROT naman<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2300447732728034972?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-12976203126818258502007-03-21T00:02:00.001-07:002007-03-21T00:02:44.756-07:00ANAK : Tay, unsaon paghalok sa GUAPA UG PANGIT?<br />TATAY : Gwapa gani, hagkan ang NAWONG unya kumuton ang totoy... kung pangit,<br />hagkan ang totoy unya kumuton ang NAWONG!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1297620312681825850?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-30269145159814584882007-03-21T00:01:00.001-07:002007-03-21T00:01:52.691-07:00Pag AMERIKANO umutot...EXCUSE ME!<br />Pag BRITISH : PARDON ME!<br />Pag ESPAÑOL : EXCUSAR POR QUE UTUTAN!<br />Pag PINOY : BUYAG! Dili ako! Mamatay unta ang nangutot!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3026914515981458488?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-27773838922656755252007-03-20T23:57:00.000-07:002007-03-21T00:00:57.590-07:00ANAK : Nay, gilili akong panty sa akong klasmeyt!<br />NANAY : Kabastos gud! Unsay gihimo nimo?<br />ANAK : Akong gihubo akong panty ug gihipos sa akong bag aron di na niya<br />makit-an!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2777383892265675525?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-41627445316232687982007-03-20T23:56:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:57:51.083-07:00In a rape case:<br />ATTY : Miss, naipasok ba sa iyo yong ORGAN nung nasasakdal?<br />LADY : Feeling ko parang di po ORGAN your honor....daku ra pod nang ORGAN<br />uy!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-4162744531623268798?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-60251345981061106782007-03-20T23:50:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:53:55.919-07:001st night-Lola wear see through dress....Lolo did'nt react...<br />2nd night, Lola wear t-back...Lolo still deadma...<br />3rd night, Lola all naked...Lolo said; ANO YAN SUOT MO, GUSOT-GUSOT!?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6025134598106110678?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-88468918110957816822007-03-20T23:49:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:50:04.105-07:00MADRE : Father nakasala baya ko..nakagunit ko ug "bird" sa lalake.. <br />PARE : Naay Holy Water sister, panghunaw!<br />MADRE :Daghana padre kay akong ilimogmog ang uban!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8846891811095781682?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-146826256150703682007-03-20T23:48:00.001-07:002007-03-20T23:48:59.935-07:00SEXY : Maawa ka! Meron ako!<br />RAPIST : Ahhh! walang meron meron sa kin!<br />SEXY : Waaaag! Aaaaay!<br />RAPIST : Yak! meron ka nga! meron kang ITLOG! BAKLA!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-14682625615070368?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-83420266712132627292007-03-20T23:39:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:48:12.242-07:00Life is like a VAGINA...minsan dry...minsan basa...minsan madugo....minsan<br />maputla...palaging nakanganga,naghihintay ng grasya....dats LIFE! So, how's<br />your VAGINA?!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8342026671213262729?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-54085023457152186122007-03-20T23:38:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:39:25.793-07:00Paano mo sasabihin ng buong galang sa kausap mo na BAD BREATH na hindi siya<br />mao offend? <br /><br />GANITO : "Mawalang galang na po, TAE ba ulam nyo kanina?"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-5408502345715218612?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-24138395302007057432007-03-20T23:32:00.001-07:002007-03-20T23:32:58.892-07:002 room mates talking...<br />BOY 1 : Part, lami kaayo dream nako gabii! Gitilaan daw nako ang<br />tunga-tunga sa boobs ni Ara Mina!<br />BOY 2 : Buang ka! bantog ra basa akong lubot!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2413839530200705743?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-21203251845808538632007-03-20T23:25:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:26:14.875-07:00After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng GIRL sa organ ng lalaki... BF<br />: Gusto mo pa?<br />GF : Hindi, nami miss ko lang....meron kasi ako dati nito eh!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2120325184580853863?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-5677664242118939692007-03-20T23:18:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:22:21.918-07:00Sa mental hospital, usa ka buang nagkanta samtang natulog sa kama...Human sa<br />kanta, siya mikulob ug mikanta pag-usab... <br /><br />NURSE : Nagnong mikulob man ka?<br />BUANG : Side B na gud!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-567766424211893969?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-76846287720375067252007-03-20T23:17:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:18:52.968-07:00Duha ka MISIS nangamote...<br /><br />MRS 1 : Mahinumdom gyod ko sa itlog sa akong bana aning kamoteha. <br />MRS 2 : Sa kadak-on?<br />MRS 1 : Dili, sa KABULINGON!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-7684628772037506725?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-47759579430826105772007-03-20T23:16:00.000-07:002007-03-20T23:17:55.345-07:00ANAK : Nay, Nay! Naa nakoy regla!<br />NANAY: Aber, unsa may color?<br />ANAK : dARK BROWN, nAY!<br />NANAY: Asus! Igit na! Halahugasi imong lubot! Ambisyoso kang BAYOTA ka!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-4775957943082610577?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-6393316764199647432007-03-20T22:57:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:58:16.414-07:00Teacher:Jonix,get up.How can you sleep in my class?<br />Jonix:I can teacher,if you keep your voice down.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-639331676419964743?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-35181387471778508532007-03-20T22:55:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:56:41.780-07:00Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"<br />Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3518138747177850853?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-22480534226590809682007-03-20T22:45:00.001-07:002007-03-20T22:48:56.701-07:00Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.<br />Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.<br />Teacher :Why?<br />Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2248053422659080968?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-67872095113334063452007-03-20T22:44:00.001-07:002007-03-20T22:49:07.725-07:00Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?<br />Student : BROTHERLY LOVE<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6787209511333406345?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-75708719268263593072007-03-20T22:43:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:49:17.596-07:00Question:What is the fullform of maths.<br />Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-7570871926826359307?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-66031548327322485732007-03-20T22:42:00.002-07:002007-03-20T22:49:32.496-07:00Teacher : Ramya and Shilpa!,why are you late for school,today?<br />Shilpa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and was searching for it.<br />Teachear : Ramya,what about you?<br />Ramya: Madam..., I was not able to move ....because I was hiding that coin under my feet.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6603154832732248573?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-80454906046254724842007-03-20T22:42:00.001-07:002007-03-20T22:51:26.958-07:00Teacher :What happened in 1869?<br />Student:Gandhi ji was born.<br />Teacher :What happened in 1873?<br />Student:Gandhiji was four years old.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8045490604625472484?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-42592922108928053392007-03-20T22:40:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:51:29.953-07:00GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?<br />RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir, Special or Deluxe na room ?<br />GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?<br />RECEPTIONIST : Special, naay masahista ug TV. Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang masahista!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-4259292210892805339?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-13538830340974131422007-03-20T22:39:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:51:33.814-07:00BOY : Sir, apply unta ko pagka-boy.<br />AMO : Sige, bahugan nimo ang iro kada buntag ug hotdog, corn beef ug<br />chorizo<br />BOY : Kining Sir, apply nalang ko pagka-iro .<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1353883034097413142?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-59324460977717353432007-03-20T22:38:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:51:53.267-07:00PATIENTE: Dok, ngano gasakit man akong dughan kada inom nako ug coke? Pero kung libre, dili lagi mosakit?<br /><br />DOK : Ah, kabalo nako ana. Nipis imong baga, pero baga imong nawong !!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-5932446097771735343?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-57383613064237034932007-03-20T22:37:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:52:14.318-07:00DENTIST : We have to stop seeing each oder, halata na tayo ng Mister mo!<br />GIRL : But we love each other !<br />DENTIST : Oo, but we're running out of excuses! ISA NA LANG NGIPIN MO!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-5738361306423703493?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-14392157312562509812007-03-20T22:35:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:52:29.448-07:00DONYA : Kay bago man ka dinhi, gusto ko masayod ka nga ang pamahaw diri alas sais impunto!<br />MAID : Way problema Nyora! Kung tulog pa ko anang orasa, una nalang mo ug ka-on!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1439215731256250981?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-3144600421460108892007-03-20T22:33:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:52:49.110-07:00GUESTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS SA USA KA EVENT PROGRAM:<br /><br />Organizer : Paki acknowledge si Mayor, late na dumating .. ayon, kararaan lang.<br />EMCEE : I would like to acknowledge the arrival of the late mayor who just passed away .<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-314460042146010889?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-3761615123579828402007-03-20T22:32:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:53:00.170-07:00Conduktor : Sibog-sibog gamay kay mularga na ta. <br /> Kanang imong anak, 'Noy, saBAKA lang na.<br />Amahan : Nabuang na! Nisakay gani mi kay nagdali <br /> unya sa BAKA na hinuon nimo pasakyon akong anak ?!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-376161512357982840?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-30606785554615319332007-03-20T22:31:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:53:12.747-07:00Empleyado : Boss, namatay diay atong manager, <br /> pwede ba ako nalang mopuli sa iyang pwesto ?<br />Boss : Pwde man, pero ambot kaha ug mosugot ang funeraria .<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3060678555461531933?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-90058277782762160642007-03-20T22:29:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:53:31.300-07:00Mekaniko : Sir, hindi ko po naayos ang preno ng kotse niyo<br />Customer : Paano na yon ?<br />Mekaniko : Nilakasan ko naman po ang inyong busina!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-9005827778276216064?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-87258909531209498602007-03-20T22:27:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:53:41.739-07:00PANAWAGAN SA RADIO :<br /><br />Mrs : Sir, pwede ko manawag sa akong bana sa radyo, <br /> gidala among lima ka anak<br />Announcer : Go ahead, Mrs.<br />Mrs : Hoy, amaw! I-uli ang mga bata! Usa ra imo ana! Bagag nawong !<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-8725890953120949860?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-67892364463544658252007-03-20T22:26:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:53:51.351-07:00FAMILY QUARREL :<br /><br />Husband : Pastilan sige ta ug away; magbuwag ta !<br />Wife : Sige! Ato bahinon atong anak!<br />Husband : Ako ang gwapo ug gwapa!<br />Wife : Nah! Gipili pa gyod ang dili iya!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6789236446354465825?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-63161907234863242552007-03-20T22:24:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:54:07.259-07:00Anak : Tay, di ko katulog, daghang lamok.<br />Tatay : Palungon nato mga suga aron di ta makit-an<br />> <br />(Pagpalong sa suga, nanggawas mga alitaptap)<br /><br />Anak : Hala tay! Nagdala silag flashlayt !!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-6316190723486324255?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-42544743535882086952007-03-20T22:23:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:54:14.837-07:00PANGHIMANGNO sa mga tao nga<br />Dili mokaon ug tambok<br />Dili manigarilyo<br />Dili mobilar ug<br />Dili moinom ug bino.<br />Usa ka adlaw mawad-an rakag mga higala,<br />Buhi paka,<br />Patay na sila tanan!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-4254474353588208695?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-15879460892433371112007-03-20T22:21:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:54:31.378-07:00Sulat balos ni Nanay kang Ate , OFW sa Japan :<br /><br />Dear Anak,<br />Sa sunod ayaw nami padad-i aning green nga toothpaste ... nakahilak sa<br />kahalang si Tatay<br />nimo. Dili kuno niya type ang brand WASABE.<br /><br />Salamat,<br />Nanay<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-1587946089243337111?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-20643650131914778812007-03-20T22:16:00.000-07:002007-03-22T18:39:17.824-07:00May nakagpagsabi na ba sa iyo na ang cute mo?<br /><br />kung wala pa ...,<br /><br /><br /><br />aw .......<br /><br /><br /><br />wa tay mahimo ana?! Unsaon ta man? Mamugos diay ta?<br /><br /><script type='text/javascript' src='http://track3.mybloglog.com/js/jsserv.php?mblID=2007032104101328'></script><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-2064365013191477881?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-37897765213689667722007-03-20T22:12:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:54:59.478-07:00Usa ka barko nalunod nya naay aeta nga sakay :<br /><br /><br />Aeta : ayaw ko ug paaka please!<br />Shark : ayaw koug ilara dude! nukos ka!<br /> nukos ka dude!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-3789776521368966772?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-676336351563019259.post-48824704687791413772007-03-20T21:49:00.000-07:002007-03-20T22:48:44.341-07:00Boy : Mahal kita! I love you! Bisan linog, bagyo, <br /> baha, tsunami adton jud taka sa inyo<br /><br />Girl : Wala man lage ka niadto gabii?<br /><br />Boy : Kay kuan man.. kanang.. kuan man gud.., Taligsik<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/676336351563019259-4882470468779141377?l=assortedjokes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Me not Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027026505233505152noreply@blogger.com0